Sometimes I feel, I'm losing everything I love and never want to lose. Its almost like its water slipping threw my fingers or sand into an abyss. Once its gone, it will never come back. You can scoop at the ocean, but never get the exact same particles of water back. Its forever gone and ever changing.
As of late I can't seem to control anything. I can't seem to make anything work out. I try, believe me I try. But for some reason no one seems to be trying back. I don't think anyone notices or sees what I see when I look at the same things. Maybe its just me worrying about something I don't have to worry about, but I feel like I'm one of the least important things to be worried about.
To be rather honest, I feel I'm losing my friends. I don't know why I feel this way, but so many things have changed. I am lost in this place and feel there is no one I can go to and be completely honest and open with like I could last year. I mean, I know I have a few, but I always feel they'd rather not hear me talk or complain about my worries. Like they'd rather me not say anything at all about how messed up everything seems. I'm also terrified of the reaction I'll get. Honesty really is hard to take sometimes.
I'm so afraid of your comments. I'm afraid of your reactions. Almost enough to delete this whole thing ... almost enough.
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1 comment:
I'm not going anywhere and the only topic I'll consistently ignore is school. I flunked out. I don't want to hear about it. Anything else is fair game. Besides, I can't lose you. That'd be bloody awful.
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