Tuesday, July 8, 2008

And it started out a good day....

Well, after a weird weekend. A few drinks and a few choice words. I think things are evening out again. I'm exhausted but I'm alive. I'm emotionally unstable and uneasy. Afraid of messing up or saying something wrong. Afraid of being able to hold on to the me I am, because I'm still not completely sure who that 'me' is. I feel comfortable with who I am most of the time. Right now, not so much.

I shouldn't fear being me, I shouldn't be afraid of offending anyone. But to avoid conflict I do worry about it. I hate conflict. I hate fighting. And its that fear that makes me a bit too submissive sometimes. Why am I so unstable? Why am I afraid to be who I'm meant to be? Why is it that I cry my eyes dry? Why am I so unsure of myself? What's so wrong with me?

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