How do I let him down without hurting him too bad?
So I did it. But it hurts so bad. Maybe I still liked him, a small part of me. And then maybe its because I didn't want to hurt him. but he had a bad way of showing that he liked me that much. He showed it horrible enough, I didn't really feel bad when I got to know someone else.
He doesn't want to be just friends. He doesn't seem to think he could do that. If I hadn't met someone else who was willing to meet me half way in Dayton and actually seem to care how I feel about things, I would have already given in. I would have already said i would be there this weekend and he could have what time he wanted. Because I DO BELIEVE in second chances. And he's not Tim.
Then, maybe, I'm only second guessing this because what if this other guy is only after sex or a good time. What if he's willing to put in the effort in hopes I'll give up a part of me that is still only mine. What if that's all he's after. James insists he's a nice guy. But the same was said of the one i hurt. What if I let this one go, and it was meant to be, or I don't let him go and i lose what might have been with the other guy. I fucking hate these decisions.
But then, I have to ask, what guy would be willing to drive a 100 mile round trip for just dinner and they paid the whole bill at a rib place? What guy would put out that time or energy if he was only after something? He was willing to go slow, but that text was sent when he was drunk.
I don't know! I don't know what to do! [I do and I don't].
Why does it have to fucking hurt so bad?
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2 comments:
Anyone who comes to you on his hands and knees is asking to be kicked in the teeth.
I'm finally gonna have to teach you to be a bitch, methinks. You think you're too weak. I was just afraid of hurting you.I can fix any damage I cause.
If you're okay with it, I'm gonna teach you to hate. You'll hate me for it at the time. You'll think the friendship is coming to a brutal end. You'll want to curl up in a little ball and cry, but I can teach you to hate. All it takes is finding the strength you already have and dragging it into the open, kicking and screaming.
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