Sometimes ....

Sometimes ... including right now.
I just feel like I could walk away from this life and not look back.
Like I could just drive away and not think about it for a few months.
There are times I wonder how different things would be if I would have done things differently.
If I would have made a few different decisions/choices with my own life, with situations, with thoughts.
I probably wouldn't recognize the mess I feel I am at times.
And then I feel that things might have been worse off ...

I will never know. But the urge to just walk away for a bit grows a bit stronger.
The need to find my own place in this world is overbearing. And I don't think that place is here. I don't know why I think that ... but it just no longer feels right. Maybe this all was a step in who I will become, but there is a strong restlessness that I can't control or stop. I'm not sure it has gone away since the end of my summer. I came back because I 'had to' for school, for my future. But I don't think my spirit really wanted to ...... Or maybe I am just crazy.

Its just so lonely sometimes ....

----------------
Now playing: Nickelback - Gotta Be Somebody
via FoxyTunes