What just happened here?

Its been a fucking crazy week. Between so little sleep, a fuck ton of homework, getting a ticket, and having no time to myself, I have just wanted to curl up and not open my eyes for a long while. I had an exam, a paper, like 4 sets of homework, and not quite enough time to do well in any of it. I barely made it through the week with my head still held up. Then, in my distracted state of driving, I wasn't watching my speed and got a nice little ticket, Fuck the cops sometimes. But I do suppose he was nicer than he could have been. Still ....

I miss being happy. I miss being the girl I was just a short 3 months ago. I am ready for the quarter to be over, its been one of the toughest yet. And I'm almost to my breaking point. I'm almost to my line of sanity.

The guy I was 'dating' just ended things because his life is pretty messed up right now. So, even though I was considering it, a text or two was a bit shocking to me. I may also be being looked into because I knew him .... Not to be told here. I do understand, he needs to get his life back in order .... and I am okay with that.

So, right now I'm sitting here, after a great time in Newport with a great friend and her boy friend, wondering where my life is really headed. I mean, I don't mind at all being single, I rather got use to and enjoyed it. So much more fun to be had! On the other hand, I do miss that feeling of being held, or knowing you have someone to talk to when you need it. Though, I haven't had that in a long time if really that great ever, but the thought is there. I sit here and just keep wondering, why can't I just meet a good sweet guy, who can be masculine yet soft, doesn't have kids, hasn't been married before, has a job, doesn't mind a bit of independence in a girl, and is respectful. I keep hoping its not too much to ask, but maybe it is. Because I haven't found all those qualities yet.

Screw it ... I'll be headed home for the weekend. Its Community Days and Cameron is going with me. I get my eyes tested, maybe new glasses, and hopefully a chance to smile a real true smile again. All the while reading that stupid book for class.

Well here's to the hope of a good weekend [toasting glass of water]!