Good Byes can be forever ....

I do rather hate good byes. And yet, I have grown rather accustom to shaking a hand or giving a good strong hug good bye these days. I've said good bye to friends from home on my way back to Cincinnati for another week or two. I've said good bye to my friends in Cincinnati to travel to a job half way across the country. I've said good bye to the friends I've made during my time of learning a new job or two. And the cycle starts over again every 3 months or so.

I'm getting use to saying good bye to people I love, as friends, as siblings, as people. But here I sit again, unwilling to say good bye just yet. I have one day, maybe a week before they are gone again, and I'm left here working without the ever familiar sound of the guys just a cube pen over. Where I can get up and walk over and get a "hey, what's up" from three guys I've grown to adore. Maybe I'm bad at good byes and that's why I hate them so much. I know I'll be broken up a bit more than normal this time around. I've made genuine friends this quarter. Steve ... good guy from Michigan/Kansas, Sergey ... from Jersey and his love of space, Jared ... who I didn't get along with all the time, Alex ... from Louisville/Oklahoma and graduated, Michelle ... a full timer here but a great friend to have, and Brian ... from Cali! The first two I will miss the most of all. I didn't expect to miss anyone as much as I will these guys.

These aren't the only good byes I'll be saying though. I may be saying good bye to Texas for good this time around. I don't seem to have a contract with co-op space to come back to. I haven't gotten an interview for the other job and maybe I should look into a new state, a new place. Yet it won't really matter, good byes are always going to be said, I suppose.

Though, I never thought when I said good bye the last time I talked to you, it might just really be one of the last times I would be saying good bye to you. I do so much miss home, yet it's getting a whole lot easier to not want to come back the more things change around me. I've learned never to expect for my plans to actually happen and to stop asking. I'm far more independent now-a-days, and proud of it. I no longer look forward to certain things, and I don't want to change any of it. I have grown as a person and I have grown into me.

I love that I have followed my dreams. This is something I have wanted for almost as long as I can remember. I fit a lot better in this world than in the old few. Yet, I could be a feather in the wind. And some days I wonder what you'd do if I just never called/texted or left another post again? What if I changed my number and walked on down the road without telling anyone where I went?

Except good ole Tia, the one friend I know I'll never get rid of, we are destined to grow old together and bitch about the world. As girl, you have been there since we were in kindergarten and even after that. We lose touch and yet we find each other again. I think that's says a lot about the bond we have created. And you know I'll be here for you day or night at any time in my life!

Now, good byes aren't always forever right? I hope not. Because if I can go see Sergey with an adventure to New York City, I will! And there is nothing in Kansas but I'll try to go see Steve too! So this is me ... saying good bye. It's been a good run of events!