Sometimes, he reminds me of Tim. Sometimes, it really bugs me when he does what he does. He just starts ignoring me. Just acts like I'm not there. Doesn't realize I have feelings too. When he does the things that remind me of Tim, it hurts and makes me wonder how much I'll really put up with it. How much longer I'll be able to deal with it. I know I have issues, I've stated this before. But now I'd like to know what he's thinking, what he's hiding, what he is afraid of. Part of me wonders if he's afraid to get too close. Or if I've managed to actually let him see enough of me for him to realize I'm not what he's after. But if that's the case, why would he still be trying so much? Why would he still be wanting to take me to see Dark Knight and just want to hang out? I feel like he's maybe unsure and therefore without realizing it pushing me away. I just don't know what to do. Why did I have to meet him before I was going home? Why did I have to meet someone I really enjoy being with when I can't spend any time with him? Why did it have to happen this way?
Maybe I should just revert back to little hermit me, and worry about just my schooling and my friends. Maybe I should shut down having feelings and accept, it will be much later before anything great happens. Or maybe keep trying ... and hope he sees how much he's pushing me away and that he's beginning to hurt me.
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What you should do is absolutely the opposite of that. (This is gonna be honest. Not the nice kind of honest.) Retreating makes you a bitch. It broadcasts to the world that you're giving in; that you're submissive and easy to trample. If you feel he's pushing you away, confront him about it. The part of you that wonders if he's afraid to get too close should consider asking, and soon.
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