The way I connect to music is weird. I think about the lyrics. I think about how they relate to my own life, what I've been through, where I've been, or what I want to do. I look at the lyrics, I put my own problems into them at times. Maybe its not weird. Maybe its a way I connect with the world.
Like the song "No Reins" is how I feel once I've accepted I've finally broken free from a bad boyfriend. I finally feel free, like no one can tie me down or keep me from running with the wind. And how good it feels to know when I'm laughing, I haven't really laughed in a long time.
Then I hear sad songs, and I miss them or mainly lately I've only missed on of my exes more than any of the others. I know though, I'd never really be happy if I settled for him. I know I'd never be happy with who I've even dated. But I've come to realize, he's really the one that did respect my opinions and my want to hold on to a small part of my innocence. He hated it at times, and in the end it was the reason I saw to get out completely. But you know what? I miss him. I miss his company. I miss having real conversations with him every few nights. I just miss the way he could make me feel so good about myself. In the end though, he hurt me several times. And that is why I know I can't go back, but a little part of me would like to try it again. But there is a huge part of me that wants to just take time to myself, play the single role in my little life!
How did that go from songs? Because so many songs remind me of him. So many songs remind me of what I've just dealt with in the past like two months. Yes its only been like two and half months since I met Jesse and the last guy. Its hard to believe. I hate it. I feel like I've been ripped to shreds and destroyed. I listen to the radio and there are days I just want to turn it off and not hear another word! Because its about then that a song brings tears to my eyes and the wounds re-opened as if they were just cut. I don't like it ....
Why is moving on so hard? Why do I relate to songs like I do? I shouldn't. I shouldn't actually see myself in the songs, but I do sometimes.
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Now playing: Damone - Get Up And Go (EP Version)
via FoxyTunes
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1 comment:
Relating to music is perfectly normal. Hell, most artists intend for you to find a bit of yourself in the song.
After Tim's idiocy, there should be nothing to miss.
Jesse never earned the third date.
Door number three is evidence that you still hold physical contact in way, way too high regard. I'd bet my leg he placed a whole lot less importance on it than you did.
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