No attachments yet please......

I'm all smiles!
Yes, I know, I'm not to get attached. And this time, I'm glad the guy isn't over pushy.

So, mom gave him my number Wednesday night, explaining that I was just home for the weekend and I would also be leaving for co-op in a monthish. So ... He called as soon as he got my number. That night we talked on the phone for about 2 hours. Just kinda getting to know each other a little. Seemed like a nice guy, and we decided seeing faces might be a good thing too. So he called Thursday to ask when might be the best time to meet up .... and so late on Thursday we did.

The night went well, we both had an enjoyable evening. After just talking for over a hour, we rented a movie and just watched it at his place in tight quarters. But he was a gentleman about everything, didn't try anything at all. Nice guy. (all the while reminding myself - no attachment).

Well, after asking if it was acceptable for me to call him back first, I did. I, last minute, invited him to go bowling with us. He did. And he looked nice too. He spent an hour with us bowling before taking off so he wasn't too tired at church in the morning. I was just glad he came.

I walked out with him and he told me when he was normally off just so I had an idea of his schedule. He will be off the whole time I am home over break. He told me that he is normally really busy and therefore does not normally call anyone. So I was free to call him when ever, and he would make time to talk for a bit. And if I wanted to go do anything.... he would normally be up for it. A hug good bye and he was off.

So now I know. He will expect to hear from me, and a phone call from him to me will be an unexpected but good occurrence. But no attachment beyond friendship, I think that's understood right now. But I am so cool with that, being friends first is always better. And, hey, he likes me too, and has fun doing things with me (and so far, my friends). Yea, for a decent guy!

And only time will tell if anything but friendship comes of this.

Home for Thanksgiving!

Co-op Search continues .....

Had an interview yesterday with Northwest Airlines, now run by Delta. I think it went well, and I really enjoyed the flights up and back. I couldn't answer everything but I did my best. They have a lot of hands on abilities.

I have an interview with Lockheed Martin at 2pm today. Its a phone interview. I'm nevervous. I can't see facial expressions and I continue talking or not based on facial experessions. It makes it easier in my mind. But wish me luck! I really really want this job!

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Now playing: Akon - Right Now (Na Na Na)
via FoxyTunes

Strength when a World is falling down

Its amazing how strong one can become when one really needs to be that way ....

My dear friend from since we were 6 years old, texted me today and pointed out how much her life is falling apart. I kind of have been waiting for that day to come, but I didn't know when it would. It was today. Because after she texted me that I asked why and got back "Bc. I'm not in school. I hate my job. I think I'm going to quit even tho its stupid to. Malcolm is gone. Terry is gone. My mom is gone. Zak is just like my dad .... He's getting ds in school and he chews tobacco. My little sister is a bitch. I love her but I don't like her."

I have been waiting for the day everything finally hit her and she realized that life would never be the same. She called me and began crying. I know I can't relate to loosing my mother or having my family treat me like I am nothing. She has been thinking about getting new furnature for her apartment, but the money she would use came with a hefty price that many don't understand. I know how much that money cost her, because I know how close she was to her mother. Its still unbelievable that Lisa is gone. And I know Tia misses her. I tried to reassure her. Let her know I was always here for her and I know my mother will be too. Because my mom always did see her like another daughter. We were inseperable in our younger years.

Even when I feel weak, I know I have to be strong for my friends. And today I did what I could to be that pillar she needed. Someone to just cry to as she realized how much things had changed. I can only imagine what she's been through. And I pray I never have to go through some of it. But she knows I am here, and I always will be. So many things have just made us get closer. And I love her like a sister in so many ways. I have always wished things were better for her. Because I have seen her deal with her dad in and out of jail and everything else too.

I am thankful for my family .... And I am thankful to have her still! I only hope she knows that!

Northwest Airlines - Interview

Interview: November 20
Time: 12:45pm
Place: Minneapolis, MN

I fly up to Minneapolis, MN on Northwest Airlines' tab next Thursday for an interview. They are flying me out of CVG at 8:30am Eastern, arriving in Minneapolis around 9:45am Central. We will be taken to their head quarters by 10:30 but my interview isn't until 12:45pm. Our flight back is going to be at 3:40pm Central, arriving back in Cincinnati around 6:45pm Eastern.

I'm excited!

Sometimes ....

Sometimes ... including right now.
I just feel like I could walk away from this life and not look back.
Like I could just drive away and not think about it for a few months.
There are times I wonder how different things would be if I would have done things differently.
If I would have made a few different decisions/choices with my own life, with situations, with thoughts.
I probably wouldn't recognize the mess I feel I am at times.
And then I feel that things might have been worse off ...

I will never know. But the urge to just walk away for a bit grows a bit stronger.
The need to find my own place in this world is overbearing. And I don't think that place is here. I don't know why I think that ... but it just no longer feels right. Maybe this all was a step in who I will become, but there is a strong restlessness that I can't control or stop. I'm not sure it has gone away since the end of my summer. I came back because I 'had to' for school, for my future. But I don't think my spirit really wanted to ...... Or maybe I am just crazy.

Its just so lonely sometimes ....

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Now playing: Nickelback - Gotta Be Somebody
via FoxyTunes

I wish sometimes that I had someone of my own .....

Was thinking about going home again ... Might if I am allowed to take a break from everything.

Still gotta call Martha about a weekend in Tennessee .... I'd love that to be this weekend.

Looks like the weekend of the 14th would be better for going home. I'd have Landon's 3rd Birthday Party on Saturday, and the Smorgasbord at Church on Sunday. (The lady's at the church can cook!)

Warning from the girl next to mine....

So, I understand I was assigned a room to clean in Wesley.

But If I don't ever use it, or use it rarely, why should I be the one that gets yelled at because people can't clean up after themselves? Hmm ....